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Trump Hatches New Budget Plan

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A new budget has been passed to congress by President Trump. With massive increases in military, infrastructure, and other government services such as additional police and immigration forces, as well as 4.5 billion dollars allocated to covering the White House in gold, many people are asking how the president intends to come up with this money. Even with the cuts to Education, Environment, Veteran's benefits, Social Security, and Housing, the massive tax cuts given to corporations and the top 1% of Americans is projected to create trillions of dollars in additional deficits over the next several years. 

But worry not for Donald Trump has a plan. "I met this great group of farmers, great, amazing people, you would love them, trust me." He said in a recent interview with Breitbart News. He continues "They had these beans, amazing beans, and what I do is plant them and the grow this giant bean stalk, and we send the military up this stalk where these rich, super tall people live, now see these tall people got rich with these geese that lay golden eggs, they are huge! So what we do is we annex these geese and we sell the eggs to NATO and China and other rich countries it is gonna be amazing folks. Trust me."

When asked why the farmers didn't get the eggs themselves Donald explained "See these farmers don't have an army, all they got is like pitchforks and torches. Believe me those tall people are some mean hombres, or you know whatever you call tall people from wherever they are from. Anyway these poor farmers can't get the eggs from the bad dudes but I can, so I made them an amazing deal, trust me everyone is gonna walk away from this rich."