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Mother Nature Announces Day Off in Protest


After around 4.5 billion years Mother Nature has announced she is taking a day off in protest of the recent policy changes at the EPA. On Saturday, April 22nd Mother Nature has announced she will be absent from work. She was inspired by the recent 'Day without Immigrants' and 'Day without Women' protests that took place in America. During a recent interview she had this to say "For the last two hundred years I have been watching you generate more and more waste and pollution, you finally seemed to realize you were doing irreparable damage and began making an effort to slow down the destruction. Now after a few months with a new president you seem to be actively trying to destroy the world. I am taking a break for a day and letting you deal with this mess on your own." 

Scientists have been interviewed in an attempt to determine exactly what Mother Nature is responsible for but no one seems to be able to offer a clear answer. Theories range from maintaining breathable air and drinkable water, to keeping the earth cloaked from meteors that are hell bent on crashing into the planet and wiping out all life as we know it. 

President Trump responded with the following Tweet "Hey Mother Nature maybe you should get a boob job and lose a few pounds on your day off ya' 4."